Tuesday, March 25, 2014

You know how movies have a music soundtrack?
And when it's a super dramatic, this awesome song plays, and it just gives you such an awesome rush!
I wish life had a soundtrack.
When I'm walking, and I have my headphones in my ears, and the music is just loud enough that it just fills me with energy. That's all I hear, and it just feels so great.
I mean, jeez! Whoever's the DJ for life better learn to take some ques.

I rock out on the street when I have headphones in- I mouth the lyrics and kinda act it out. People look at me a little strangely, but I don't care because I feel do pumped!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Things You Wait For Always Eventually Happen

There are so many choices and decisions we have to make in life. Constantly. There are little choices that we make everyday, like simply choosing what we're going to wear, what we're going to eat, what we're going to do.
But then there are those bigger choices. Or at least you have the illusion that they're bigger. They're the choices that supposedly affect your future in a greater sense. The decisions that we think about so much, but never really think we'll have to actually make a final choice. The idea of the choice is some fantasy we ponder over so, so very much: but, at least for me, I don't truly believe I'll ever actually have to make the choice. Like somehow it will just happen.
But when the time when you really have to sit down and decide once and for all, it's scary. Everything you've ever thought on the matter comes rushing back, and each time you lean towards one side, something about the other pulls you back. And it's a constant see saw. And it's not allowed to lay perfectly balanced and in the middle, because you can't every have both. You have to chose.
I think I was raised with the philosophy of "both." Like if I wanted to try a cookie and a cake, my parents would let me have both. Maybe they thought it would help me form my own opinions and decisions by trying everything.
 But now, making decisions is so, so hard for me! Every time I'm positive with my choice, I feel a sudden urge of guilt and regret. I'm never happy with one. I want both. Both. Or at least a combination.
Oh, if only you could design your own world.

I'm referring to high school.
Bard or Stuyvesant?
I really, honestly don't even know at this point.
Yesterday, I was so set on Stuy. Now, I think Bard just might be for me.
For some weird reason, I feel like I'm gonna lose my outer life, my home, friends life, with whichever school I go to. But I guess wherever I go, I can be me, and I'll still have time and choices and options outside of school. I don't know.

I also really, really hope I stay friends with the friends I have in eighth grade now. They're really special. I have so much fun with them.

Lily, Jolene, Maya, Amber, Asia, Ione, Momo, Grace, Cloe, Hannah Lola, Lucy.

I hope I become a singer/songwriter during high school.

I hope I write another book: like a good, young adult juicy book.

I hope I design something big and useful and awesome.

I hope I have fun.

I really, really hope I'll stay happy wherever I go.

I hope my life turns out okay.

No, not okay.


Honestly, it better be great. I'm working hard.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014


This past weekend, I did a program called Spark at MIT. I got to take a variety of classes and really get a taste of what college is like. I took an Introduction to Data Science class, a Cosmology class, an Introduction to Programming in Java, How to Navigate a City, the History and Culture of the Internet, Conceptual Calculus, Quirky Linguistics, Psychology of Shopping, and a physics class called "Why are Carrots Orange?". It was really fun! I really want to go to college now, and I felt so professional taking notes and sitting in seminars and lectures. Since I went all the way to Boston just for one night, it felt like a mini business trip!

I feel like I've had so many awesome, advanced experiences in my life. I've explored most every field; science, math, english, technology, design, and more. I'm really lucky to have done all of these things, and I've learned and had so much fun.

I also just got my high school results back. I got into Stuyvesant, and Bard Queens, even though I wanted Bard Manhattan and put it first :(

These are great choices, and even though it's a hard decision, I think I'll have a great time either way. But most of all, I'm just happy and excited! There are so many great things to do in life!