Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Here are all my problems:

I feel extremely unaccomplished, I have a physics test on Thursday and I honestly have no adea how to calculate force, my mom is increasingly using the fact that I'm a teenager to be unfair to me, I have no one to talk to, I feel like a third wheel with two of my friends, it's almost 2015 and I've done barely anything substantial, I have an oversized ski jacket that I'm embarrassed to wear to school but it'll take way to much of a hassle to return it, my ex-best friend and her mom are making me feel like shit, I'm sick of most everybody at my school, I really don't understand physics and I'm really worried about my test and Dr. Cooper doesn't meet with students on Wednesday's and GUESS WHAT TOMORROW'S WEDNESDAY, popularity has taken it's toll and I don't understand why or how but it's just there, I have to dress up as a superhero for advisory for tomorrow but I'm not doing that, I really want to watch The Fosters Christmas special but I have too much work to do, I really want to celebrate Christmas and all the songs and decorations and holiday buzz is driving me insane because all I'm gonna do is light candles for 8 days, I don't have enough guy friends, I miss my old friends, there is no quite space in my house, there is no privacy, I'm drowning, I feel so unaccomplished, no one knows about my book, I haven't been in any movies, I haven't started a company, I'm angsty, I'm angry, I'm pissed.

The end.

Not really, actually.

There are more.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Monday, December 1, 2014

Ferguson Walk-Out & Protest

Quite simply, my school is fantastic.
So empowering and ecouraging of us youth making decisions and having our own views and being apart of current events and taking stands for what we believe in. And that is just such a brilliant environment to be a part of.
Today I was part of a walk-out and a protest revolving around black equality, with its center due to the shootings at Ferguson. At exactly 12:00pm during history with Ms. Riviere, I made quick eye contact with my classmates around me, and 5 of us just got up and left. I was so nervous as we were about to leave: my heart was beating really fast, my palms were sweaty; but the second I left that door a surge of excitement washed over me.
We left the school and found a huge mob of Bard students from all grades outside. It was all student run–although teachers and staff were definitely supportive. This morning as I walked into school, Dr. Lerner, the principal, was handing out fliers for the protest! How brilliant is that?
Anyway, we started marching down Houston and the cheers started.
"What do we want?" "JUSTICE!"
"When do we want it?" "NOW!"
Again. & Again. & Again.
"Hands up!" "DON'T SHOOT!"
"Hands up!" "DON'T SHOOT!"
We walked to Union Square and that's where the protest really began. A few reporters started interviewing us, and I talked to one man from the Huffington Post and he took down my name! We'll see tomorrow if I'm in the newspaper!
People holding up signs. Marching. Chanting.
"FUCK THE POLICE!"
Marching. Cheering.
"THIS WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM IS GUILTY AS HELL"
Screaming. So many people. Moving as one.
"BLACK LIVES MATTER"
Running. Police chasing us. One kid from Bard gets grabbed and shoved next to a police car.
"BLACK BLOOD BLEEDS RED."
Handcuffs. Run, run, run. Grab onto backpacks. Stay as one.
"INDITE! INDICT!"
Handcuffs. Run.
"HEY HEY. HO HO. THESE KILLER COPS HAVE GOT TO GO."
       <<    hey hey        ho ho                                                              to go >>

Ahh. We're okay. Keep marching. Fear disappears and thrill takes over.
We're powerful.
We scream louder.
Our voices crack but we scream louder and louder.
People join us. Cheer us on. One Hispanic man who doesn't even speak English gets so into it and starts pole-dancing on the street lamp.
Men, women, children. They join. A marching band comes. We chant to the beat of the drums and the trumpet follows our lead.
"NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE: FUCK THE RACISTS."

Two hours pass. More marching, cheering, walking.
We get to Time Square. 50 blocks. My friend calculated it as 13,407 steps. 
We gather around a few people smack in the middle of the Square.
People. Some from BHSEC (Bard), some older people; one man who was at Ferguson and saw what happened, and got arrested for protesting; one junior from LaGuardia who told us how she wasn't allowed by her school to come to the protest; her teachers, friends, and even her black principle discouraged everyone from going. But she came anyway. Everyone who left Lag got suspended. But she came because she felt strongly about this cause. She talked about how we can't think of this so specifically and as a one time event. "I am Mike Brown," she said. "My brother is Mike Brown, all my black and brown brothers and sisters are Mike Brown. But that must change."
What really struck me, besides the cause and the whole purpose and reason for the protest, was the drive of the youth. We were all so eager and passionate and supportive, and it felt so fantastic to be part of a community that is brave enough to speak their mind and let their voices be heard.