tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46018028431353391772024-03-21T13:04:32.992-07:00hey, hey, hey hello I'm hereit's (just) meUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger230125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-12241809465555484582016-09-24T19:54:00.001-07:002016-09-24T19:54:41.654-07:00Juggling<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI7zG6soua1Te3aOTywXVBvN-e5x6y_VBBRZY3LSr-51P3mHyGtQ4P3JfBnesnPEsrwelo4_WOm3ZC_CZP08zyq867OP4psSIbLG16A1OWBuE24FXUewSnwsyv-uHDXXDaBTT5JmooBDY/s1600/stock-illustration-63780005-victorian-exercise-indian-clubs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI7zG6soua1Te3aOTywXVBvN-e5x6y_VBBRZY3LSr-51P3mHyGtQ4P3JfBnesnPEsrwelo4_WOm3ZC_CZP08zyq867OP4psSIbLG16A1OWBuE24FXUewSnwsyv-uHDXXDaBTT5JmooBDY/s400/stock-illustration-63780005-victorian-exercise-indian-clubs.jpg" /></a>I'm trying to be an artist and a writer and a high school student; I'm trying to take ACT prep courses and make a photography website and be a big sister; I'm trying to create an app and get a boyfriend and be on my school's soccer team; I'm trying to have fun and be social and be healthy and watch TV and read; I'm trying to have good style and get enough sleep and go to concerts; I'm trying to make new friends and spend time with my family and finish all my homework.<br />
<br />
I'm trying to be me and to become more of me and learn about me but me is many and everywhere and I'm having a bit of a hard time juggling it all. I'm trying to accept that dropping the pins once in a while might just be okay if I can somehow get the others higher in the air.<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-14782657886749951632016-02-15T21:08:00.001-08:002016-02-15T21:08:06.682-08:00wow what<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know what im feeling / how im feeling / I don’t know
if its good or bad or mad or sad or happy or upset or crazy or free or trapped
or loose or tight or ANYTHING / one second I think im feeling something and
then I put on a song and my entire mood SHIFTS / there are a lot of songs that
make me feel this super precise feeling / super exact feeling / I know exactly
what it is in my mind / but there’s no way at all that I could possible put it
in words / it’s a feeling that makes me want to dive into the ocean and drink
all the water in it / it makes me want to paint myself yellow / it makes me
want to hug every single person that I’ve ever encountered / it makes me want
to choke myself and never want to breathe again / it makes me want to climb a
thousand feet and jump down into an infinite pool of waer / I cant stress this
dichotomy enough / its so fucking fucked up but so fucking wonderful at the
same time / I hate it I love it / but im telling you when these songs play I go
INSANE / I cant feel myself anymore / I run away from myself inside myself / I
am you him her them us / I want to smash a window and watch the glass shatter
in slow motion / all these images / dark / light / I really really really
actually seriously don’t care what they say anymore / HOW IS THIS MUSIC SO REAL
FOR ME / I see my brother sitting there in the corner / totally in his own
world / not affected at all by what’s going around him / I’m going to crush
this lightbulb with my bare fingers / I want the ink to leak out of all my pens
and stain my entire life with mismatched colors / I want to layer on every
single sweatshirt I have and drown in all the fabric / there’s no YOU I DON’T
KNOW WHAT ALL THESE SONGS ARE REFERENCING / why am I such a SHIT ASS PERSON /
but im fucking incredible / there are so many things ahead of me / there are so
many trashy things that I really love / Im always way too concerned about doing
things for OTHER people, for OTHER reasons, but I need to start doing things
for MYSELF / things are so much easier when I think about them / my mind is a
level 1 and life is at a level that isn’t even quantifiable / ahhhhh
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! / no matter how many times I cover my ears with my hands and
tell myself this can’t be real, I open my eyes and every time, it’s all the
same<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m actually really really happy. can I still have these
feelings?<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-70696927202742122652015-10-14T15:30:00.001-07:002015-10-14T16:13:59.376-07:00PSAT - real time on social media !!OMG THIS WORLD IS SO FUNNY - SOCIAL MEDIA IS FUCKING AWESOME HAHAHAHA I'M LAUGHING SO HARD !!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEU6cWCZyQizBUA6RPPpW_diyBRQUFa9hyhwNRI_zL7qsRISB7_I00wTYw9iViMyXq_hisYkLMCbZJA2-PKTSXIJJx_JbgylqNXMlrOU6yp8PLhxI3JPXYTGLZCOayYpjItHTDiFt_wJk/s1600/face-with-tears-of-joy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEU6cWCZyQizBUA6RPPpW_diyBRQUFa9hyhwNRI_zL7qsRISB7_I00wTYw9iViMyXq_hisYkLMCbZJA2-PKTSXIJJx_JbgylqNXMlrOU6yp8PLhxI3JPXYTGLZCOayYpjItHTDiFt_wJk/s200/face-with-tears-of-joy.png" width="200" /></a><br />
<br />
(this is my face right now!!)<br />
<br />
so I took the PSAT today–it wasn't that hard, but there wasn't enough time... it was so short, with no time to check your work–but anyway, that's not the best part. when I got home, I looked on instagram and there was already a #psat2015 hashtag on twitter and instagram with people posting all these edits and memes form the test, and they're crazy funny. they're not really funny to anyone else, but it's basically an inside joke between everyone who took the test today and IT'S SO FUNNY I'M DYING!!! they're all relevant to some part of the test, like a reading passage or a math problem or the grammar section, and it's awesome seeing these because it makes you feel about taking the test because you know all these people had the same struggles / confusions with it as you did.<br />
<br />
this twitter feed with the same hashtag is <i>really</i> funny: <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23PSAT2015&src=hash&lang=ms">https://twitter.com/search?q=%23PSAT2015&src=hash&lang=ms</a><br />
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and <i>this</i> is my FAVORITE ONE:</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-1645191050929146672015-10-13T18:11:00.001-07:002015-10-13T18:12:30.019-07:00keep it moving, rolling, flowingit literally NEVER stops.<br />
<br />
I thought I had <i>minimal</i> homework tonight–I got home at 5:00–and I <i>just</i> finished.<br />
<br />
tomorrow I'm taking the PSATs... I wonder how that'll go.<br />
<br />
Ooo, today I got glasses! They're a clear frame and I think they look pretty cool – they also make everything supremely clear, so helpfully that'll help me see better and reduce my headaches. Last night, two of my friends came over and then we went to my other friends house for dinner, which was really fun. It was all five of us and we were just hanging out and eating dinner and chilling (on a school night!) and it was just really really fun. Fun people! And everyone could be themselves, not worry / or filter themselves, just be open and relaxed and have a good time being with good people. It felt really good! And then one of my friends slept over and we spent the whole night talking about how although the workload is insane right now, our social situation is really really good–it's genuine, it's fun, it's with raw, real, hilarious, down to earth-people. It's great!<br />
<br />
But we went to bed super late and both slept terribly and woke up at 7am... but it's all worth it! Right? (or so we tell ourselves because it's the only way we'll get through it... because like I said, it never stops.)<br />
<br />
here's my picture of the day... from my trip to LA, which I can hardly believe was more than three months ago! wow. time doesn't fly by. well, it does. really, <i>really</i> fast.<br />
<br />
yeeesh.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-69673302264740687542015-10-12T12:36:00.000-07:002015-10-12T12:36:21.265-07:00PSA: current state of overwhelming happiness – contrary to the circumstances!So today is Columbus day, which essentially just means no school.<br />
<br />
Gee thanks, Columbus, for discovering this place where ALL I DO IS HOMEWORK 24/7.<br />
<br />
I've spent a solid 5 hours on my lab report over these past few days–no joke! And my history readings are massive, the Chinese vocabulary is never-ending, and my lit essay is peering down at my from above sneakily waiting to seize me the second I <i>think</i> I'm free.<br />
<br />
It's actually okay, though. I feel fine, if not actually really pretty good! I haven't been outside for over 48 hours, and have pretty much remained in the triangular vicinity of the kitchen, my desk, and the couch... so instead of being restless and depressed I'm surprisingly feeling quite positive. Plus the mango I'm eating right now–which I cut up FOR MY SELF WHILE STANDING ON ONE LEG!–is really really good.<br />
<br />
I'm supposed to hangout out with my friends later today, but no one is responding in the group chat and only he girls are making legitimate plans... not to <i>stereotype</i> or anything (!!) but boys are generally pretty bad at planning <i>anything</i> until about ten seconds before it happens! Oh well. My friend is also coming over tonight to sleepover and help me get to school tomorrow as I am still on crutches and even walking to the <i>bathroom</i> is like fighting WWII. But! Alas! I'm surviving.<br />
<br />
I'm feeling really weird – I would never say alas – but you know what, I'm just gonna roll with it!<br />
<br />
One of my dad's favorite concepts is this idea of the dialogue–that we all constantly have so many different dialogues with different things going on all at once. A dialogue with your friends, with your family, with your schoolwork, with your music, etc. And his way of approaching things, especially challenging, sometimes painful things, is to try and open up a dialogue with them. He said to me, Lola, open up a dialogue with your leg, start a conversation, let it know you want it to heal and the two of you can work something out.<br />
<br />
It's sort of a wonderful, brilliant concept. I don't think we realize how many relationships we have going on all the time. Our idea of what a relationship means is sort of so limiting and if we look at in in the sense of our interactions with everything around us, it can be really freeing and a vehicle for us to communicate with ourselves and with the world.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm just feeling really positive and collected and calm. One thing that's definitely helped with that is the conversation I had with my dad a few nights ago before my parents left on their trip. A lot of shit had gone down over the last few weeks, with constant arguments, misunderstandings, tears, and hurt feelings for honestly such unnecessary reasons. We're both so similar: so sort of stubborn, adamant, hungry to let one another know that we're right–although, what's ironic about that is we view ourselves as open and willing to accept new ideas and ways of looking at things, but really we're often the opposite. So although many of our conversations are wonderful and so insightful and fun and fascinating, often we end up in these heated debates that we could have easily prevented if we were both just a little more willing to listen to one another.<br />
<br />
We finally, <i>finally </i>talked about it–for real. We listened to each other and it was one of the most powerful, down to earth, honest discussions we've ever had. I love him so so <i>so</i> much and he's one of my very best friends and I hate being on bad terms with him. With anyone, really, but especially family. It's just not worth it. It hurts, it's painful, but it shouldn't be because in truth everyone really has so much love for one another.<br />
<br />
ooooooooof. So that's nice to not have to worry about now. We are on really great terms and it's making me really happy.<br />
<br />
Also my parents are having a great time in Miami – they're sending me all these pictures and they both look so happy and relaxed and peaceful and that's also making me happy!<br />
<br />
And I'm texting my old friend and she just sent me a picture of her adorable little new dog and that's also making me really happy!<br />
<br />
And it's the time of fall where the leaves on all the trees are turning this gorgeous greenish gold and it's so beautiful and the light is shining through them right outside my window and that's also making me really happy!<br />
<br />
And I'm really into my new haircut so that's also making me really happy!<br />
<br />
And I watched a cool documentary on design called Objectified last night and I learned a lot and I'm super into design and especially product design and that's also making me happy!<br />
<br />
I'm also getting these cool new glasses that are clear soon so hopefully that'll not only help my eyes but actually look cool so that's making me happy!<br />
<br />
And life's really so rich and full of so many wonderful things, and sometimes it's so hard to believe that and to see that but it's really, really true! If there's one thing I've learned form this absurdly intense and rigorous school system, and cross country as well, is that there will be certain things in life that are so hard to push through, so hard to not give up, so hard to keep going and tell yourself that it's going to be okay, so unbelievably challenging and consuming and wicked but when you get through these things, when you're done, there's this feeling of immense accomplishment, of invincibility, that you can do anything and you can survive. Really. We can do it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-23853194665336880012015-10-11T15:02:00.003-07:002015-10-11T15:04:44.912-07:00stress fractures & guidebooksi feel so awful, and i don't know why.<br />
<br />
i feel like i have nothing to do, and yet, i have so much. endless homework, but also so many other things i want to do for myself.<br />
<br />
i just don't have energy to do anything.<br />
<br />
my leg hurts - after my last cross country 5k race on wednesday i collapsed and could not walk only to realize that i have a stress fracture in my left tibia that had been getting worse and worse as i pushed harder and harder into the season but finally turned itself in. and now i am on crutches and will not be able to walk for at least 3 weeks.<br />
<br />
next week i have a chemistry exam, chinese midterm, math exam, a global essay due, and a literature essay due.<br />
<br />
i want to finish my book, play guitar, do my design project, create my app, take more pictures, paint, make big art projects, work on coding, read, listen to music, watch movies, be with my friends<br />
<br />
and yet i'm sitting here doing nothing.<br />
<br />
this is such a cliche question but is so relevant and so real - what's the point?<br />
<br />
really, what is it? i'd love to know.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Z_qyDc7kgR5qxrp3Wvis24xO0s2pwCjB4NNeZZgmWI_Tqbx4uLBqOcpzKzc5Oiy1TjnjVQA1qCaWAMgG8V0m9xCkC0Z9jspuNmn1rCC-KV8J2ao3q8R_Z1uXFIrZ-xe8yEPIOoyuMXY/s1600/IMG_1404.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5Z_qyDc7kgR5qxrp3Wvis24xO0s2pwCjB4NNeZZgmWI_Tqbx4uLBqOcpzKzc5Oiy1TjnjVQA1qCaWAMgG8V0m9xCkC0Z9jspuNmn1rCC-KV8J2ao3q8R_Z1uXFIrZ-xe8yEPIOoyuMXY/s320/IMG_1404.JPG" width="320" /></a>because my mom'll come and tell me, the point is for yourself, to do what makes you happy, and yeah, sure, but there's so much else i have to do, i can't now do these other things or i won't be able to survive in this society - school is brutal beyond brutal and yes i enjoy it but only up to a point, i can't enjoy it anymore because it's consuming me and swallowing me whole, leaving no time for anything else - yes, maybe if i worked on making time i could, maybe if i zoomed through my homework and finished it quickly, yes, but that's so hard, it's so tedious, it's often so boring, it takes so much energy, ahhh, it doesn't really seem like i'm doing it for myself, i'm doing it because this world requires it, it's really a lot, a lot of stress, pressure, stress, after all my injury is called a stress fracture so i guess even my calf is feeling it ?!]<br />
<br />
what do i do?<br />
<br />
i so often wish there was a guidebook, a rulebook, something i could follow because at certain points i don't know what to do with myself. yes my life is wonderful and so full with love and opportunity and creativity but really, i feel like a burnt pancake -<br />
<br />
even my analogies are rusty ! help! i'm taking the psat's on wednesday!<br />
<br />
help ! i'm on crutches so i can't walk! help ! i'm so thirsty but the fridge is a full 10 feet away and i'm alone in this big house in the middle of this crowded city and i'm so thirsty and my eyes are hurting, i need glasses, my head is pounding, like usual, my lips are chapped, my lab report isn't finished despite the hours i've spent on it, my future is all depending on now, pressure, stress, oh my my stress fracture just can't take it anymore<br />
<br />
EEK / BRRR / CRACK / CHIIII / KKKKK / EEEEEP / AHHH / OOOO / oooooof.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-22614532581420405672015-09-08T18:23:00.001-07:002015-09-08T19:07:37.344-07:00The Cape of Cape Cod<span style="font-family: inherit;">Well, it's been more than a week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
We're back home. Back to the heat. Back to errands. Back to the crowded streets. Back to the noise.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Back in the rhythm of what we call home.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
But Cape Cod has not left me. And it never will. Because from our incredible time there I was given a cape, the Cape of Cape Cod, that I can wear no matter where I am.</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk0Mk5W2WPgUVDupTb8h1rGraLx9B2IVAw1ij428D7QMB2h_YoXFwVWDqEQ7kRKCyOJIrfD0r7ka11uyNiAlh3LKTYa3y47GDNoVmqCAr3foisWxDGgKjNHJZApqobdSQOsDA5moNyKCQ/s1600/IMG_8817.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk0Mk5W2WPgUVDupTb8h1rGraLx9B2IVAw1ij428D7QMB2h_YoXFwVWDqEQ7kRKCyOJIrfD0r7ka11uyNiAlh3LKTYa3y47GDNoVmqCAr3foisWxDGgKjNHJZApqobdSQOsDA5moNyKCQ/s320/IMG_8817.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaDgwylm-ZXtwserYfj06iAJmkoY5V_tBpmAO6yjesnn7UC9Rq3yPy7FtnPKJb373iA4z0CBKzO_rDSsMWs4q7SEHHaLm0eOehbAljkjyJkR0oKyR9ZNHaNywYM0sVGsgG8q0d_DoYZrM/s1600/IMG_8926.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaDgwylm-ZXtwserYfj06iAJmkoY5V_tBpmAO6yjesnn7UC9Rq3yPy7FtnPKJb373iA4z0CBKzO_rDSsMWs4q7SEHHaLm0eOehbAljkjyJkR0oKyR9ZNHaNywYM0sVGsgG8q0d_DoYZrM/s320/IMG_8926.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqH8YCYsWQ66QxWCFdXPG6HLyzSSv6dPGdLmVgL6k4rPmItYaw1HGSbf1AIU5TCLazNO_fybeiLNEeSeDUvmXI6wlCSgiJaFJiB-m1e5QfAYoDI8Y7jgWYiAn-7pZDTE69rNJmRDRVNto/s1600/IMG_8619.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqH8YCYsWQ66QxWCFdXPG6HLyzSSv6dPGdLmVgL6k4rPmItYaw1HGSbf1AIU5TCLazNO_fybeiLNEeSeDUvmXI6wlCSgiJaFJiB-m1e5QfAYoDI8Y7jgWYiAn-7pZDTE69rNJmRDRVNto/s320/IMG_8619.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1fokU5gUtApwyPczdNa3dRUF_tLzATbx_ZCitGflNcOX33TSojpqgV5ZZmuWIyPVbzYTG454f3KqX3k40FNQASouoBo0hVbIwAgjOd4pt0rBTYQe2OQc2IQCKsK8JHCTUSUvxcG72oEc/s1600/IMG_9665+copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1fokU5gUtApwyPczdNa3dRUF_tLzATbx_ZCitGflNcOX33TSojpqgV5ZZmuWIyPVbzYTG454f3KqX3k40FNQASouoBo0hVbIwAgjOd4pt0rBTYQe2OQc2IQCKsK8JHCTUSUvxcG72oEc/s320/IMG_9665+copy.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4-WqhVs_wIyI7SfprQ9t6z9FSCCnOGhWHC-1mHlX_NiLAhyFmCJ_aaPN2ENP_lcKhaTj-oo21u70icpipPGNkJiJpgzyixp8IrTmyxiwRK25u5aQSCOSOcmVWZ6ZJt7GvgzhiNr347BA/s1600/IMG_0547.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4-WqhVs_wIyI7SfprQ9t6z9FSCCnOGhWHC-1mHlX_NiLAhyFmCJ_aaPN2ENP_lcKhaTj-oo21u70icpipPGNkJiJpgzyixp8IrTmyxiwRK25u5aQSCOSOcmVWZ6ZJt7GvgzhiNr347BA/s320/IMG_0547.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFSCJa2S7P1dKN6NGuFAuYXF3Sz2mz2W2Dt2pmg45xcWGl2iwNKY-ggmhq0-aN6vtFZpJGTDQ8jQGm10o9Hx34wjlsXQkYy5NVrUN5WuOEvKyk6jLZho2O0jBihqcR_zzUT-NZqUHS39U/s1600/IMG_8956+copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
When I close my eyes and wrap the cape tightly around me, I am brought back. All my senses are so vivid and </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">alive, fired by all the memories. I can hear the bay, the water swaying back and forth; the trees, gently blowing in the wind; the cicadas, chirping as they do day by day; the sound of the shower running down my back after a </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">run; the hose on my feet brushing sand off after an evening walk; everyone's voice shouting spot it in unison; my dad's voice, sharing with me his experiences and stories; the sound of the tennis ball hit perfectly in the center of the racket; four voices in unison singing wildly to Sylvan Esso, Breathe and Exhale, Lorde; the melodies of the jazz as we all sit in tranquil content, the wind blowing on our faces as we look out the car window and watch the world go by; Philippe Starck and his French </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">accent: tok tok tok! I can smell the fresh, clear air, that deliciously simple harmony of the ocean and the bay and the grass and the trees that all swirl together to create nature's aroma; I can smell the wafts of the delicious seafood cioppino that my dad is cooking in the kitchen. I can taste the salty water, the clear water, the juicy fruit popsicles- from Hatches, the crumbling brown sugar from the oatmeal raisin cookies, the delicate smoked bluefish, the perfect crispy edges of Lola's blueberry muffins. I can feel the silky water of each pond, the intricate shapes of shells on the beach, the prickly tips of Indian grass, the fishing rod in my hands, my fingers gripping the steering wheel of the car, my brother on my shoulders, my moms arms wrapped around me; I can feel my body unravel as the ocean picks me up and takes me on a roller coaster ride, a whirlwind of waves coming at me every which way, the beautiful white foam from the crests of the waves, that sensation of diving under the waves at White Crest and the spinning underwater that makes me giggle and smile and feel like a little child; the water rushing up over my feet during low tide; my feet on the foam of skim board, my legs bending as I spin and glide along the Sluce Way; my arms, moving one after the other, as I swim with my mom across each and every single pond; the boogie board </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">as it soars me across the water. I can see the bay, the bay in between the trees that make a frame around it when you look from the backyard, the bay as the sun rises and the tide is stretched far, far out and oysters and mussels and clams fill the space of the sand, the bay </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">as the grass sways on the sand in the glowing heat of the afternoon sun overlooking a marvelous body of sparkling salty water, the bay in the early evening as the sun is going down but still gifts us with it's lovely, comforting pastel colors, painting the sky with pale pinks and blues, the bay in the evening, the tide right up </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">to the grass and the tide way out by the sandbars, the waves crashing and rumbling and the waves gently swinging back </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">and forth, the bay that so gloriously lays under the marvelous sky with the innumerable stars shining so intensely, the moon that goes from a sliver to a circle each month, the bayside that is sunny and cloudy and and warm and chilly and clear and foggy, the bay that never stays the same, the bay that is always changing, the bay that reminds you that life isn't permanent and never will be, that each moment is special in itself, each moment is irreparable and irreplaceable, each moment is for us to enjoy for what it is because it will never be the same again, the bay that is free and unbounded and ever-changing and beautiful and wonderful and magnificent and incredible and where my family comes together and appreciates all these wonders.</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt8OmHIg5Cj0F_z1IntJhGqWeSrnp65f8fnvyY0w-K27tCmrU79E-fz6SCQ7XoXmm2PkoD7nRE0XkQNZzrFrquvVFDec4P2MDdwzxlR-OsbdgEu51KUAIpEOs9gWeUKR31Erg9K0N2VPM/s1600/IMG_0537.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt8OmHIg5Cj0F_z1IntJhGqWeSrnp65f8fnvyY0w-K27tCmrU79E-fz6SCQ7XoXmm2PkoD7nRE0XkQNZzrFrquvVFDec4P2MDdwzxlR-OsbdgEu51KUAIpEOs9gWeUKR31Erg9K0N2VPM/s320/IMG_0537.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
All of these senses, these feelings, these memories, all rushing back, making me smile, making me cry, making me realize and remember how wonderful this earth is, this universe is, this world truly is.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
I wrote this the night before I left Cape Cod:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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morning) </span></span><span style="font-family: "Adobe Garamond Pro"; mso-effects-shadow-align: none; mso-effects-shadow-alpha: 50.0%; mso-effects-shadow-angledirection: 13500000; mso-effects-shadow-anglekx: 0; mso-effects-shadow-angleky: 0; mso-effects-shadow-color: black; mso-effects-shadow-dpidistance: 4.0pt; mso-effects-shadow-dpiradius: 5.0pt; mso-effects-shadow-pctsx: 0%; mso-effects-shadow-pctsy: 0%;">and we’re leaving
Cape Cod tomorrow. I’ll write about the whole trip later but I just wanted to
write a little right now and capture the immediate pleasure and satisfaction
and joy that I’ve had with this trip. It’s been seriously, truly incredible. I
don’t think there’s ever been a month of my life where I’ve learned more–about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">everything</i>. About myself, about my
interests, about the people around me, about </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">my relationships with people,
about how I think, about how the world works, about history, about the future,
about art, about science, about design, about great people, about music, about
food, about the stock market, about nature, about the moon, about the tides,
about animals, ABOUT THIS INCREDIBLE WORLD! I’ve had so many feelings– I think
I’ve had every </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">feeling there is to have these past four weeks. There’ve </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">been
ups and downs and internal storms and battles against myself and swirling
emotional tornadoes and hurricanes of feelings and just everything. But I feel
good. I feel really good right now. I feel satisfied, content, so happy and
thankful for an amazing summer. Very sad it’s coming to an end but endlessly
grateful that it happened. Thank you, Cape Cod, for you. For everything you
have to offer. For </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">your beauty. For your wisdom. For your tranquility. For your
life. For making me not only feel so alive but making me excited</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i><span style="font-family: inherit;">to </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">be</i><span style="font-family: inherit;">
alive. Excited for this world. Excited for the future. Excited for me to grow
more into me. Ready.</span></div>
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-</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I will wear
the Cape of Cape Cod forever. Writing this and remembering this makes me
feel more confident for and at peace with all the new experiences to come,
however nerve-wracking and intimidating and intense and new they may be. I
feel so honored to have been giving this Cape, and it will never, ever leave
me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-71401560960233670002015-08-18T11:15:00.000-07:002015-08-18T11:15:10.495-07:00ohmyGOD - so I want to redesign my room and I've been looking online for desks and rugs and bookshelves - I've found a few really cute things on Urban Outfitters, and so I wanted to show my dad because I really value his input and he's really creative and has a great design sense. and the second I show him, he gets up and begins a massive wave of rage and intensity and design <i>preaching</i>, really, on how I should <i>never</i> <i>ever ever ever</i> look on urban outfitters again, not look at such CRAP, you need some QUALITY Lola, QUALITY, look at philippe starck, marc newson, some real people, not ripoffs, and so I go okay so you're going to buy me a desk and a bookshelf made by these top notch designers because that's what I need, and he goes yeah sure of COURSE find one and I'll buy it for you so I look it up and the first thing I find is a $7,000 marc newson chair so I go k I found one I like buy it for me and he goes uhhh and I go EXACTLY but he goes you need top notch and I go mhmmm and he keeps ranting about urban outfitters, Lola you don't need that crap, you need to show your young face and go get some real stuff, come on Lola, you're young, young young young everybody loves young people they want YOU just email them and ask them if you can have a chair for $400 because you're YOUNG and they'll look at your cute little face with those two little braids and say YES yes YES so I said okayyyyyyyyy and then went back to urban outfitters (????!?!?!?!??!?!!!!!???) I love my dad and he's RIGHT but HOW can I get all this it's all so EXPENSIVE well apparently I'm YOUNG so hopefully that gets me somewhere AHHHHHHUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-20719634651667550902015-08-14T15:28:00.001-07:002015-08-14T15:28:29.302-07:00summer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-63682702293511258312015-06-09T18:11:00.001-07:002015-06-09T18:13:04.640-07:00math final DONE! (it was sososo hard)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-16402547687773374462015-06-08T18:47:00.001-07:002015-06-08T18:48:10.753-07:00finals finals finals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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tomorrow i have my math final, and then on wednesday my physics in the morning and history in the afternoon. i have been studying like crazy. i need to study more though. ahhhh the only way i'm getting myself through this is by telling myself that it's all going to be over in a few days–i just have to work really hard and push through this last intense week and then it will all be over.<br />
<br />
until sophomore year... where it'll start all over.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-81443231558938952652015-06-07T12:32:00.001-07:002015-06-07T12:33:36.187-07:00uh-oh<span style="font-size: large;">FOURTEEN YEARS OF LIVING AND EIGHT YEARS OF AMERICAN HISTORY AND I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT COMMUNISM IS EEEEEEK.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
& my history final is in two days.<br />
<br />
<br />
studystudystudy study study study study stu(dying)<br />
<br />
-<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-23369415932215845612015-06-06T19:53:00.001-07:002015-06-06T20:42:18.826-07:00summer evenings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-31833603148661261822015-06-04T19:20:00.001-07:002015-06-04T19:20:48.673-07:00when you're having a mid-teen crisis (and don't know who you are).<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhznXfINTXL6Pwk9YwxVR_7ri3q00YA-Vopg8pneWfuPNmdc6rPYoC9gn2Q_6cxutqju1-AfAXN73OIsDzdfFDQKdJkFqa37B3Ut3Cvn-N4ROj48hGS57Hh71VcTAplSsi3nQQhnwKus5w/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhznXfINTXL6Pwk9YwxVR_7ri3q00YA-Vopg8pneWfuPNmdc6rPYoC9gn2Q_6cxutqju1-AfAXN73OIsDzdfFDQKdJkFqa37B3Ut3Cvn-N4ROj48hGS57Hh71VcTAplSsi3nQQhnwKus5w/s400/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-57721089216544429392015-05-21T04:30:00.001-07:002015-06-06T20:44:11.047-07:00unfortunately<span style="font-size: large;">Life has become a preparation for tomorrow, instead of the enjoyment of today.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-87535119427615886692015-05-13T18:42:00.001-07:002015-06-06T20:43:57.273-07:00(the kind of writing that uses excessive, insignificant details to express something deeper)<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~ golden raspberries:</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>framboises jaunes are the finest raspberries on the market. only people with fancy fur coats and 3-inch heels and velour lingerie can eat them. red raspberries are for people with jansport backpacks and target exercise clothing and library books. and there are no exceptions to the rules. rules never have exceptions or else they simply would not be rules. everybody knows that. and everybody also knows that fresh figs are for the people that work on wall street and dried figs are for the artists, because the fresh figs taste better and that’s just how it goes. the stock traders sip the san pelligrino while the painters gulp down the canada dry because that’s the way the world is made. but if you walk down the street with your leather purse and your pearl necklace you’re not allowed to try those red raspberries, even if you really want to. oh no, no no. and you can read all the books you want of rich manhattan kids that go to boarding school in paris and take walks on the rivier siene and eat crepes for their first dates; there are oh so many of those books that try to convince you that the world will come scoop you up all by itself and cradle you forever; you can believe that but then you’ll spend your whole life waiting for something that simply isn’t going to come dear, and no, those golden raspberries are mine. they're not for sharing.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-12564490385365422482015-02-17T19:14:00.001-08:002015-02-17T19:14:38.347-08:00feb 2015<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Life has this inherent fear
factor that is nearly impossible to get over. We are <i>always</i> scared of what people might think about us–the way we look,
the way we dress, the way we act. We are constantly overwhelmed by social
pressures, norms, and expectations. So in fact we are not ourselves but a
collection of muted fragments of ourselves that are all adjusted and altered to
fit the prerequisites of others. </span><!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-58316455241986644242015-01-06T18:14:00.001-08:002015-01-06T18:14:39.011-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhARH0Off7xqOQKMfionukl5TZmZaKrdCyivhfBxyBs8lLFCepdCG9B5pTDPDT73e_TP7nhUsfi2V5la9HtWdZa3Xy7b2UQw_kwriMP5eBTIPf7Bi0nUZEUprxk2AbzPk7YtbW2LvSZqKs/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-01-06+at+9.05.53+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhARH0Off7xqOQKMfionukl5TZmZaKrdCyivhfBxyBs8lLFCepdCG9B5pTDPDT73e_TP7nhUsfi2V5la9HtWdZa3Xy7b2UQw_kwriMP5eBTIPf7Bi0nUZEUprxk2AbzPk7YtbW2LvSZqKs/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-01-06+at+9.05.53+PM.png" height="365" width="400" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-32097390919198759182015-01-01T19:05:00.002-08:002015-01-01T19:05:18.761-08:00New Years 2015<div class="MsoNormal">
January 1<sup>st</sup>, 2015. woaHaHaHaH i cannot believe
it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We just got back from Hulbert family camp. Bro’s bday was
yesterday- new years eve baby and he didn’t even stay up till midnight.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did, though. We drank champagne (sparkling apple cider),
dropped the ball (a big, paper mache hand made ball that everyone wrote their
names on with glue and glitter), and sang a song as the clock striked 12am in
the upper dining hall of the lodge. It was spectacular.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The late hours leading up to the special moment were filled
with ping pong matches, super fun contra dancing, whispering about boys who
liked us with maya and lior, taking bathroom selfies with momo, annoying seth
with Mathew, munching on potato sips and drinking multiple cups of coffee and
lipton tea, talking with adults, hearing their stories, and feeling nervous yet
ecstatic for the year to come.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2015. 5 is such a powerful number, because it is the number
that initiates rounding <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">up</i>. 1,2,3,4,
we could associate with 2010, basically, but 2015 unlocks this astonishing idea
of 2020 that seems so far away but really truly isn’t. mind blowing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had a really fantastic time at family camp. With my
family, with my friends that felt like family. Hulbert creates such an amazing
community–and I mean the idea of Hulbert as not only a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">place</i>, but a place where community, family, humor, relaxation,
comfort, fun, and joy (such a cliché word omg) are all part<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of the experience. I hope we go every
year; this was only our second time going, but already, there’s something so
special about this group of people that come from far and wide and rarely see
each other during the year, but all gather together in this amazing place and
share this amazing experience of embracing the new year together, every year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s 9:59pm and I’m going to sleep now. But 2014 was a
packed year, filled with probably every emotion possible. I’m not going to say
it was all happy, or all sad, because that would be bullshit. It was kind of
everything. I met so many new people, tried so many new things, had so many new
experience. And every thing I did helped build the person I am right now, and I’m
grateful for everything that happened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mom made a slideshow of pictures from 2014 from roman’s
bday, and she was so inspired and enthused that she made ones for my and my
dad. Seeing all those photos unleashed so many memories that I’d nearly
forgotten, and just made me realize how much has happened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How busy life is. How packed it is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How every second, every minute, every hour, every day something
new is happening.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet, I’ve found some sort of peace in the midst of all
that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That chaos is peaceful, because it’s life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took a yoga class at Hulbert for one of the activities,
and now I’m really into that.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
so au revoir 2014, and namaste 2015.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-65315034511770279932014-12-09T17:56:00.001-08:002014-12-09T17:56:28.341-08:00Here are all my problems:I feel extremely unaccomplished, I have a physics test on Thursday and I honestly have no adea how to calculate force, my mom is increasingly using the fact that I'm a teenager to be unfair to me, I have no one to talk to, I feel like a third wheel with two of my friends, it's almost 2015 and I've done barely anything substantial, I have an oversized ski jacket that I'm embarrassed to wear to school but it'll take way to much of a hassle to return it, my ex-best friend and her mom are making me feel like shit, I'm sick of most everybody at my school, I really don't understand physics and I'm <i>really</i> worried about my test and Dr. Cooper doesn't meet with students on Wednesday's and GUESS WHAT TOMORROW'S WEDNESDAY, popularity has taken it's toll and I don't understand why or how but it's just there, I have to dress up as a superhero for advisory for tomorrow but I'm <i>not</i> doing that, I really want to watch The Fosters Christmas special but I have too much work to do, I really want to celebrate Christmas and all the songs and decorations and holiday buzz is driving me insane because all I'm gonna do is light candles for 8 days, I don't have enough guy friends, I miss my old friends, there is no quite space in my house, there is no privacy, I'm drowning, I feel so unaccomplished, no one knows about my book, I haven't been in any movies, I haven't started a company, I'm angsty, I'm angry, I'm pissed.<br />
<br />
The end.<br />
<br />
Not really, actually.<br />
<br />
There are more.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-41476817447332518232014-12-04T04:48:00.000-08:002014-12-04T04:48:44.301-08:00The Hound from Fahrenheit 451<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHOpVp0sMMlRDyF6mMX6xUY7yNWMpOq3bRVuu6h0HZ8eFwhC87AhzZPg8Emthbbk8hOny-a0snAi4cAxrpwQR1Vp0x9IiIjJDJlQhNMddAYMPsSvyWx2TY6RY4f3h_5GFrpS8g_4PgVjU/s1600/IMG_4063.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHOpVp0sMMlRDyF6mMX6xUY7yNWMpOq3bRVuu6h0HZ8eFwhC87AhzZPg8Emthbbk8hOny-a0snAi4cAxrpwQR1Vp0x9IiIjJDJlQhNMddAYMPsSvyWx2TY6RY4f3h_5GFrpS8g_4PgVjU/s1600/IMG_4063.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-47724996111862609562014-12-01T14:22:00.001-08:002014-12-01T16:07:45.181-08:00Ferguson Walk-Out & ProtestQuite simply, my school is fantastic.<br />
<div>
So empowering and ecouraging of us youth making decisions and having our own views and being apart of current events and taking stands for what we believe in. And that is just such a brilliant environment to be a part of.<br />
Today I was part of a walk-out and a protest revolving around black equality, with its center due to the shootings at Ferguson. At exactly 12:00pm during history with Ms. Riviere, I made quick eye contact with my classmates around me, and 5 of us just got up and left. I was so nervous as we were about to leave: my heart was beating really fast, my palms were sweaty; but the second I left that door a surge of excitement washed over me.<br />
We left the school and found a huge mob of Bard students from all grades outside. It was all student run–although teachers and staff were <i>definitely</i> supportive. This morning as I walked into school, Dr. Lerner, the principal, was handing out fliers for the protest! How brilliant is that?<br />
Anyway, we started marching down Houston and the cheers started.<br />
"What do we want?" "JUSTICE!"<br />
"When do we want it?" "NOW!"<br />
Again. & Again. & Again.<br />
"Hands up!" "DON'T SHOOT!"<br />
"Hands up!" "DON'T SHOOT!"</div>
<div>
We walked to Union Square and that's where the protest really began. A few reporters started interviewing us, and I talked to one man from the Huffington Post and he took down my name! We'll see tomorrow if I'm in the newspaper!</div>
<div>
People holding up signs. Marching. Chanting.</div>
<div>
"FUCK THE POLICE!"</div>
<div>
Marching. Cheering.</div>
<div>
"THIS WHOLE DAMN SYSTEM IS GUILTY AS HELL"</div>
<div>
Screaming. So many people. Moving as one.</div>
<div>
"BLACK LIVES MATTER"</div>
<div>
Running. Police chasing us. One kid from Bard gets grabbed and shoved next to a police car.</div>
<div>
"BLACK BLOOD BLEEDS RED."</div>
<div>
Handcuffs. Run, run, run. Grab onto backpacks. Stay as one.</div>
<div>
"INDITE! INDICT!"</div>
<div>
Handcuffs. Run.</div>
<div>
"HEY HEY. HO HO. THESE KILLER COPS HAVE GOT TO GO."</div>
<div>
<< hey hey ho ho to go >></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Ahh. We're okay. Keep marching. Fear disappears and thrill takes over.</div>
<div>
We're powerful.</div>
<div>
We scream louder.</div>
<div>
Our voices crack but we scream louder and louder.</div>
<div>
People join us. Cheer us on. One Hispanic man who doesn't even speak English gets so into it and starts pole-dancing on the street lamp.</div>
<div>
Men, women, children. They join. A marching band comes. We chant to the beat of the drums and the trumpet follows our lead.</div>
<div>
"NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE: FUCK THE RACISTS."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Two hours pass. More marching, cheering, walking.</div>
<div>
We get to Time Square. 50 blocks. My friend calculated it as 13,407 steps. </div>
<div>
We gather around a few people smack in the middle of the Square.</div>
<div>
People. Some from BHSEC (Bard), some older people; one man who was at Ferguson and saw what happened, and got arrested for protesting; one junior from LaGuardia who told us how she wasn't allowed by her school to come to the protest; her teachers, friends, and even her black principle discouraged everyone from going. But she came anyway. Everyone who left Lag got suspended. But she came because she felt strongly about this cause. She talked about how we can't think of this so specifically and as a one time event. "<i>I</i> am Mike Brown," she said. "My brother is Mike Brown, all my black and brown brothers and sisters are Mike Brown. But that must change."</div>
<div>
What really struck me, besides the cause and the whole purpose and reason for the protest, was the drive of the youth. We were all so eager and passionate and supportive, and it felt so fantastic to be part of a community that is brave enough to speak their mind and let their voices be heard.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-80415218144473884912014-11-04T16:52:00.002-08:002014-11-04T16:52:55.875-08:00there's empathy, and then there's sympathy, but there's no positive version that directly fits in that little family of words.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-49952606275102685422014-11-04T16:03:00.001-08:002014-11-04T16:03:33.207-08:00AHHH I'M HAVING A MID LIFE CRISIS AND I'M ONLY FOURTEENUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4601802843135339177.post-79926615665739443172014-10-25T13:21:00.001-07:002014-10-25T13:21:59.004-07:00I'm crazy.<br />
I scream a lot.<br />
I notice it while I'm doing it, but it's so hard to stop once you've already started.<br />
I get so mad at other people for the smallest things and then I scream at them and end up looking like a selfish little brat.<br />
Which I'm not. And I hope people don't see me as that.<br />
And then I get so mad at myself.<br />
That's the worst.<br />
Being mad at yourself.<br />
That's the hardest to accept, let alone mend.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0